Where Romance and Perversion Collide

Hey loves! 

I have prolly said something like this before but this is my realization for today and every day hereafter.  It's prolly the biggest realization of my life.  I really need to chill.  Good things are brewing for me.  Great things happen for me all the time honestly and I am well aware but it's funny how at the same time, I get so caught up in things that don't really matter.  Life is moving in a wonderful direction and I need to just relax and let it happen.  I've always been so proactive about things I really want provided I think I have a shot of having them and I've been way more active at things I don't really want but things I "have" to do because I have "should"-ed myself into doing it and even worse, I've let others should me.  They don't even have to say it in words anymore... just a pleading look was enough to make me should myself into doing whatever it was for them, whether I liked it or not. XDDD  That is what I thought it took to be a good person and a good friend.  Altruism with the hope that someday, with someone who really loved me, they would do it back and we'd be happy together.    Well, fuck that.  I just realized recently that I don't have to do anything at all!

Gods, how liberating is that? XDDD  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do either.  You don't have to do anything for me or yourself or your family or any asshole that tells you that you should.  We're all just people and we're all incredibly loveable, every one of us, but we can all be incredible dipshits as well the moment we turn around and expect anything from anyone.  I know this and I want you to know that I'm trying very hard not to do it to you, ever.  Old habits are hard to break and I am not perfect.  I have backslides as bad as anyone perhaps even worse because I half-expected myself to be Martha-fucking-Stewart my whole life (If she really went crazy, I think I'm starting to get why now....)

I'm human, so please forgive me, and I will try my best to forgive myself everyday.  I wish I was Sephiroth but I'm not... but the beautiful thing about Seph is, he's an ass.  He's so socially awkward that he made his own rules. XDDD  I just love him!  I love Vince too and he's a total fuck-up.   But he tries so very hard to be noble, it's beautiful.  Yazoo... now Yazoo is very near perfect!   (I'm kidding... a little. XDDD)  By society's standards of "normal," he's deranged, should have Velvet Nightmare confiscated asap and is marked for a one-way trip to the looney bin. XDDDD  I could go on and on about all the boys but you get the idea.  We are all kooks and we all have been fucked out of what is rightfully ours, ease, wellbeing and happiness by what others have taught is right and what to believe.  It wasn't their fault.  They only did what they thought was right and it was their fucked-up way of caring about us or rejecting our difference or our need because they didn't know how to handle it, like  "you be normal, I no hear you!" or when you need this , you instead get this  and this or this  or this .  Shiva forbid, you get this .  If you do, please please seek help immediately! D:

Here are two vids I've found that I think are great.  If they help you, I'm really glad!  If you think they're shit, then feel free to delete it from your life experience as if it never happened:

It's not your job to please anybody




Actually, I admit, there is one way in which I will totally, emphatically and super-arrogantly get up on my soapbox and bother to blog anymore, telling you how to live your life:  Like Abraham, I want you to feel the best you can feel! XD  If you would like to drop me a line and feel good with me, I would love to meet and talk with you!

Regardless of anything at all, what you think of all this, what I think you think of all this or whatev, I love you all.  I love the energy that is you and the passion with which you live your life whether we connect or not.  Even if we fuck up and generally fail at life. XD  It doesn't matter.  I love you!   No matter who you are or how well we get along or if we never speak, I want you to know that you are valued and I know we're connected and all just making our way.

Have a wonderful day, loves!!